Lord of the Finkys
by EvilEatingSanta
Summary: A story I wrote a few years back. Don't ask about the title, because I don't know. Just two short, and when I say short I mean short, chapters that have almost nothing to do with...anything.
1. Chapter 1

So. This is incredibly short. Also, I wrote this a while ago, so the grammar and stuff might be terrible. Sue me, please. I just sort of threw this up here one incredibly boring day to see what happens. Magic? Perhaps...

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Gandalf skipped down the path, holding arope that was attached to Gollum's neck,singing, "Oh what a beautiful morning! Oh what a beautiful day! I've got a beautiful feeling! Everything's going my way!" Yes, Gandalf was in high spirits today, as was Gollum. The silly little creature was right next to the skipping wizard, singing along, except that Gollum's words sounded much more like, "Precious, precious! Hisss!" to everyone who was listening. That included Aragorn and Aragorn, and he was not at all pleased to have to stay with these two…loonies.

_'Oh...my…God.' _Aragorn thought to himself, _'I swear, if I have to put up with these two any longer…I'll crack!' _Aragorn knew he was already on the verge of madness, and any slight thing could break the tough man. That's it. He couldn't take it any longer. He drew his sword and cut the wizard down where he skipped, laughing insanely. "Ha ha ha ha ha! How does it feel old man? Huh! Not such a beautiful morning anymore, is it? HA ha hahahhahah!" Gollum tried to scramble out of the crazed man's way, but instead got his head split in two by the wild ranger's…dance. "Tra la lala!" Aragorn sang as he sliced the two bodies repeatedly, then ran off into the woods, still laughing and singing insanely, leaving the two bloody bodies on the road…for Legolas to find!

"THE HELL?" Legolas screams when he sees what remains of the body of one of his best friends…and the body of the other thing. "ARAGORN!" Legolas fumes, trying to think of what could have driven the ranger mad. He hears some rustling in the bush and quickly draws out his bow, fitting an arrow to it.

He hears some murmuring, then finally hears, "I am Agent Smith. I am Agent Smith…or am I?" Legolas stalks up to the bush and peers over the top… What he sees puts the elf back on his heels.

"ELROND?" Legolas yells, wondering why the elf king would be out here.

"IT'S AGENT SMITH TO YOU, BUB!" Elrond…er…Agent Smith yells back.

Legolas's eyes fill with water and he asks, "Bub?" he then runs off into the woods, crying. Agent Elrond sighs and looks around.

"What am I doing here?" Agent Elrond then shrugs and starts dancing in the bloody pulp that once was the proud wizard Gandalf.


	2. Chapter 2

...uhhh yeah. I can't say I was the most sane child of my generation, but eh, what can ya do? As far as I'm concerned, this story is finished. Even though it wasn't really ever a story...just dribble.

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"So then I told her, 'Silly, That's a PERM!' And she laughed and we all laughed together as we combed our hair. I swear that was the best slumber party EVER! Oh, wait, I don't swear! Tee hee!" Legolas had been talking non-stop for the past few miles, and it was taking it's toll on Aragorn, Legolas' traveling companion.

'_Why did I get stuck with Legolas, Lord of the Hair-dos?' _Aragorn stumbled on through the path to the best of his abilities until he stumbles upon two short creatures. "Merry? Pippin? What are you guys doing here?" Aragorn murmers, not surprised at all by the eccentric hobbitses strange appearance. After all, this was the part of the book where Merry is supposed to be with Eowyn and Pippin is supposed to be being his slow-witted self and pledging his allegiance to Denethor.

"Yes, what ARE you two adorable little hobbits doing here?" Legolas asks, blinking his large blue eyes and breaking the flow of other hair-related words that seemed to always be coming out of the tall elf's mouth. Merry and Pippin stared blankly at the man and the elf as drool dripped out of the corners of their mouths. Legolas squeaked and exclaimed, "Jeez, you two. Have some common decency pah-LEASE!" Legolas then turned around and continued to comb his long, golden hair. Aragorn touched Merry on the shoulder and screamed when the two hobbits fell onto the ground with knives sticking out of their backs. Legolas turned around when he heard the 'thuds' and ran away screeching. Aragorn bent over to inspect the corpses when Pippin's head snapped back up and he stared at Aragorn with cold, dead black eyes.

Aragorn screamed "ZOMBIES!" and ran away with Legolas.


End file.
